Golden marriages operate on golden rules

What you need to know:

  • Listening is a habit we must build first, knowing it’s one of the foundations of healthy relationships.

I’m a son of a former headmaster and reputable chemistry teacher. When studying in those days, chemistry was one of the most feared subjects just like mathematics.

Most of the students thought chemistry was so complicated. But my dad told me, “Chemistry is one of the easiest subjects if you know the principles and rules behind it.’’

He then listed to me 22 items that I’d to understand to master the subject, things like the periodic table, mole concept, atomic structure, etc.

When I spent enough time to understand the rules and principles behind the subject, it became the easiest subject to me and I ended up scoring the highest grade in my last exam.

Ever since I’ve learned a lesson - if you want to succeed in anything you need to learn the principles and rules behind that thing, whether it is business, football, or relationship.

Knowing and applying the golden rules guarantees success. Golden rules are basic principles that should always be followed to ensure success in a particular activity.

Keep listening and talking to each other: Marriage is a long conversation that needs careful listening and sensible talking.

Listening is an incredible way of showing that you love someone. The truth is, all those that we love must get a listening ear.

But silly awful! This only happens at the beginning of a relationship; as time goes we start losing attention and begin to take things for granted.

We start getting used to our partners so much that they’re no longer as special as they used to be.

Paying attention to the way our lovers express their opinions, feelings, and perceptions is costly and requires effort.

Listening is a habit we must build first, knowing it’s one of the foundations of healthy relationships. Therefore, we’ve to keep talking and listening to each other attentively.

Unfortunately, many of us are not good listeners and we’re perhaps not even great communicators. We need to improve; improving our listening will improve our marriages significantly. Are there things that destruct you from being a good communicator or good listener? Is it chatting with friends? Is it television, phone calls, or social media?

Keep discussing your differences: There will be always a time in every marriage when our different approaches to handling things will require discussion. When our pattern of life or behaviour differs, we’ll have four options: complaining, complying, confronting, or conversation. The first three won’t work, any reaction that involves coercion or contempt will always destroy our relationships.

There’s no need to be defensive or dig out heels in. Let’s discuss differences and move from a “me-centred” to a “you-centred” attitude. Ask yourself, will I need to change in this matter? Can I do things differently?

To conclude, let’s enjoy our relationships. There are rules though! If we fail to follow relationship rules, the relationship will rule us out.