THE DIVA: To the strong and independent woman out there
There is something about the lent season that brings a lot of self-reflection, could be the hunger or the religious connotation. The other day I was thinking about my relationships then it dawned on me that in the past 5 years I’ve had about 6 guys enter my life and tease love then leave. Six relationships that I gave a part of myself to only to get disappointed. Six relationships that I couldn’t really call relationships because they never let it get that far, but the emotional investment was all the same. Six relationships that left me feeling robbed, questioning what I’m doing wrong or why I continue to find myself in the same situation.
It’s exhausting to say the least. For the longest time, I would just cry and wonder what’s wrong with me or what am I doing wrong? Why aren’t my relationships working out? I mean am beautiful, funny, smart and loving. Plus I always support the man I am dating and I never ask for too much, but they always made me feel like I wanted too much.
It took me quite sometimes to realize that there was nothing wrong with me and there was nothing I was doing to jeopardize my relationships. Some guys just can’t handle a strong woman. They will be intrigued and want to find out more that they initiate a relationship then run once they find out they can’t handle you.
But there is nothing wrong with being a strong woman and Independent woman and we shouldn’t have to “soften” ourselves just because men can’t handle our energy. I may have had numerous failed relationship but I refuses to let them deter me from finding love. There are times I would say I am done with love and close up my heart because there will be no heartbreak when no heart to break. But then I would miss love and would try again, I continue to love as if I’ve never been hurt.
So to all the strong and independent women out there- it’s okay to want love and to actively pursue it. There’s nothing wrong with being the type of woman who is comfortable in her own skin, able to live her life her own way, perfectly fine making her own decisions, and yet, totally and completely interested in finding a man to stand by her side.
We may be intimidating, have very high standards and refuse to settle for less but it does not mean there are no men out there who can handle us. Confident women inspire the secure and threaten the insecure so if a man couldn’t handle you, he doesn’t deserve you. Strong women attract strong men. Look out for an equally strong men who’s secure enough to allow you to be yourself without tying you down or being intimidated.
Unapologetically own who you are, how you love and the way you feel. What the world doesn’t understand is truly how hard it is to find love. You live in a continual state of conflict. You long to be independent and powerful, but you crave the connection you can have with someone else. You want to live out your self-focused, self-driven existence, but at the same time, you want to share your world with another person.
But do remember that being strong doesn’t mean we are impervious to pain, just don’t let it define you. It may not be easy but graciously let go of relationships that cause you pain. Cry it out, drink it away but mourn then get up and try again.
