Friday, March 16, 2018

BAR GOSSIP : Impotence is a real crisis of our time


By Paul Owere

This city is never short of amazing stories, some indeed very bizarre.

On many occasions you are left spellbound with the mouthwatering tales that patrons come up with. There is a new one almost every week and the best place to get this vibe is none other than Bonge’s place which is quite a hit!

Topics that usually dominate conversations here range from the President’s tours upcountry to revellers’ exploits with the girls that Bonge keeps recruiting from Singida.

Usually, very juicy gossip that keeps us entertained which is quite ideal for the hyenas. As you might have heard, impotency in this country has reached a crisis level and though there no official statistics those in the know claim it is alarming levels.

Most men live in shame for it is not an issue that you can talk home.

In short, instead of being helped they become the laughing stoke of the community.

No wonder this other Moran has been in brisk business selling certain roots that he claims can turn one into a ‘real man’ and roar like a lion.

So it came as relief when it was announced that the ministry after a long research had finally certified some five local herbs that can enhance potency.

The news reverberated in almost every hangout and that is when I realised that the situation was indeed real . A certain research a couple of years ago claimed that most men were raising children who are not theirs. On that day when the newspaper carried that article most men were in denial claiming that these were cooked research by some female extremists who are out to shame men calling them under performers. But this time around there wasn’t anyone beating about the bush whether there was need for boosting performance.

At Bonge’s place that evening folks seemed to be in high spirits as they debated at length how this was going to save families. Maneno is a well know user of some of these hubs which he claims works wonders, he prefers the Congolese one which he calls ‘Kasongo’ and that at his rather advanced age he is still a force to reckon with.

“Wewe bwana don’t joke with Kasongo it is not like those useless Maasai herbs that these boys keep hawking around here,” he boasted as the other folks nodded in approval.

But that was not until Kaburu the man from Lake Zone joined the table after he had seen off a bevy of light skinned beauties who had come to see him.

Kaburu earned his name after a short stint in South Africa which saw him deported from Madiba’s land a few months after the World Cup.

On this day he had something up his sleeves, he came in with his own version claiming he had heard that Maneno was full of talk and was another useless man calling him ‘Mwanaume siruali’. ‘Maneneo wewe umejaa majigambo, how come with even your Congolese herbs people say some of the children you claim to be yours are actually not,” he said.

Kaburu’s claims left many in awe as they wondered how a man of Maneno’s caliber could be raising children that are not his! What followed was a serious exchange of blows as Maneno got on Kaburu’s neck accusing him of spreading reckless rumours.

As I write Kaburu is admitted in hospital nursing a broken jaw!