Key role fathers must play in breastfeeing of their babies

Last week was breast-feeding week, as it is usually the case from 1st to 2nd of August every year. We share the messages to the public on the importance of exclusive breastfeeding for both the infant and the mother.

Talking about breastfeeding, in the African context, we are taking it in a very different way. Like any other domestic responsibility, our African societies perceive that breastfeeding is the mother’s responsibility and there is nothing a male parent can do to help a mother in the whole process of breastfeeding.

This is rather a misconception if I can say. Many men mistakenly believe that breastfeeding is strictly confined to women and babies. They see their role as that of a passive or neutral outside observer who has little influence on the process. A common complaint from fathers of breastfed babies is that they tend to feel excluded from the intimacy of the nursing dyad. But fathers actually have tremendous potential to either facilitate or undermine the success of breastfeeding. Understanding the importance of their role is the first step in equipping fathers to help their breastfeeding partners.

Here is therefore, the advice to fellow men, especially whose wives are breastfeeding on what they can do to make exclusive breastfeeding successful.

A father is responsible for creating friendly environment for a mother to breastfeed.

The first thing a father can do to promote the success is to create a positive family atmosphere towards breastfeeding. If he views breastfeeding as making a positive difference in the health and well-being of his baby and as a high priority for his partner and child, this attitude will set the desired tone for achieving success. As a practical matter, breastfed babies need to accompany their mothers whenever possible. A father who views a baby’s continual presence as intrusive will subtly undermine breastfeeding. The father who naturally assumes that his baby will accompany the couple to restaurants, movies, dinner parties, and meetings has given breastfeeding his strong endorsement. While a few men actually persuade their partners to breastfeed, more often the mother’s motivation to nurse exceeds the father’s commitment. But there’s a big difference between a man who agrees to let his partner breastfeed and one who deliberately creates an atmosphere of success.

A little support and encouragement from a father, does a lot.

Breastfeeding can be emotionally demanding, physically exhausting, and uncomfortable at times. Virtually all new mothers experience doubts about their ability to care for a helpless newborn. Breastfeeding mothers harbor additional fears about the adequacy of their milk supply or the correctness of their breastfeeding technique, or their ability to overcome lactation problems. Fathers can play a key role in bolstering their breastfeeding partner’s confidence by showering them with compliments, praising their efforts, and offering words of encouragement. This support role can be particularly difficult when a woman is profoundly tired and discouraged. When a woman is under extreme stress, a man may not know how best to support his mate. He may be uncertain whether she wants to hear, “Don’t give up; you can do it!” or “You’ve done your best. It’s okay to switch to bottle-feeding.” If you are not sure how to respond to your partner, try explaining that you don’t know exactly what to say, but you want to support her in any way you can. Just being a sounding board might be all she needs on a specific day. You can offer valuable perspective, unclouded judgment, or even a sense of humor that defuses tension. Other times, you might be able to mobilize some specific help for a breastfeeding problem by calling the doctor, a lactation consultant or the hospital where your baby was born.

Fathers can bottle-feed the baby with breast milk. If expressing milk manually or with a pump works for the mom, dad can introduce the baby to a bottle and start taking over at feeding times. It also helps the mom to get ready to go back to work.

Most importantly, the father must be the biggest cheer leader who encourages the mother and remind her that breastfeeding is one of the most important things she can do to get their baby off to a great start in life. Especially in the first few weeks, when lack of sleep and hormonal changes can sometimes make new mothers waver in their determination to breastfeed, a father who suggests that “let’s try that one more time,” or reminds that “they say babies space out their feeding after the tree week growth spurt,” can be invaluable.