OUR KIND OF ENGLISH: ‘Dead man’ ignores directive; Tanesco ‘owes’ us!
The challenges we face as we endeavour to inform, educate and entertain readers aren’t just about grammar. We often get stuck while searching for the right word to convey our message. Today’s piece will mainly feature linguistic gems that illustrate this concern.
Before us is a cutting from Bongo’s leading English daily tabloid. It carries a story headlined: ‘Boy, 12, accused of killing mother’s lover in Moshi’.
In his intro, the scribbler writes: “A boy, 12, is alleged to have killed a man, 20, whom he accused of having a relationship with his mother.”
So far, so good; but look at what the scribbler writes in Para 9: “Details obtained from neighbours say the young man had previously warned the DEAD MAN to stop the relationship with his mother.”
Our scribbling colleague, purporting to quote a ten-cell leader, writes further: “The boy WAS over TIMES BEEN reminding the VICTIM to stop relationship (sic) with his mother and the VICTIM ignored the DIRECTIVE.”
We’ve highlighted the gems for the readers to enjoy on their own, for they need no explanation, or do they?
Then we’ve another story on a different page, entitled: ‘Arusha to build 86 classrooms in four days, says RAS’. In Para 2, the scribbler reports: “The regional AUTHORITY vowed to construct the remaining classrooms by January this year, the OPENING SCHOOL DAY.”
Here’s our rewrite for the above: “The regional AUTHORITIES vowed to construct the remaining classrooms by January this year, BEFORE the OPENING DAY.”
The same edition has an opinion piece entitled, ‘Let us not send well-performing Tanesco into oblivion’, in which the scribbler says in Para 3: “…electricity is a business-oriented service…the FUTURE of any entity which produces and SALES something which people are forced to buy faces a bleak FUTURE.”
You sale something? Oops, no! You SELL it, for “sale” isn’t even a verb—it’s a noun. And, we suggest replacement of the words after ‘BUY’ with ‘IS BLEAK’, so as to avoid the monotony of using the word ‘future’ twice.
Further on, the scribbler writes: “Currently, Tanesco OWES billions of shillings to its customers who are able to pay their bills but have not done so.”
Tanesco owes customers? Kiswahili for that is: “Tanesco INADAIWA na wateja.” Impossible, we say! The truth is this: Tanesco IS OWED millions BY customers…or, “Customers OWE Tanesco millions…”
For its part, Bongo’s senior-most Sunday broadsheet had a story headlined: ‘Anti-cervical cancer mission heightened’.
We’re uneasy about the idea of “heightening” a mission, but since it’s said one can get away with murder in headline writing, we’ll let it be. However, we can’t reconcile with what the scribbler says in Para 8:
“Tanzania achieved a HISTORICAL milestone to roll out a human papilloma virus vaccine against cancer of the cervix.” Historical? Nope! The word should be “HISTORIC”. We won’t dwell on this one for fear of boring our teachable readers, since we’ve laboured to explain the difference between “historical” and “historic” a zillion times in the past!
Ah, this treacherous language called English!
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