Will this be the year of an indoor Valentine’s?

There has been talk going around. Questions and plenty of racking of brains, all in attempt to figure out the best way to say I love you to that special someone. It can’t just be the same old tricks from the book. Apparently, someone released a memo that some of us missed along the way that instructs us to be as unique and extravagant as we possibly can.

Yes, the sky is the limit on this one.

Without missing a beat, the pressure to make sure that the world knows that one’s “bae” pulled all the stops doesn’t really help with our ever rising social anxiety.

What is Valentine ’s Day?

Call it a lover’s day or whatever you will, this day is not one to miss for those in relationships while quite possibly, utter agony for the singletons out there.

Much like every other twisted religious holiday, Valentine’s day was originally a day set to commemorate the life of the martyr, Saint Valentine, who among many of his acts of love, notably cured the sight of the daughter of the man that jailed him way back in the 18th century.

In other lore, it was claimed that Saint Valentine performed marriage ceremonies for Christian soldiers who were forbidden to marry. True to his nature of love, before his execution, it is said Saint Valentine wrote a letter to his jailer’s daughter and signed it “Your Valentine” as his farewell to her.

The Feast of Saint Valentine was established by Pope Gelasius I in AD 496 to be celebrated on February 14 in honour of Saint Valentine of Rome, who died on that date in AD 269. The day later became associated with romantic love around the 14th and 15th centuries when notions of courtly love flourished, apparently by association with the “lovebirds” of early spring.

It later evolved into an occasion whereby couples expressed their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards with symbols such as hearts, flowers, doves and the very chubby, baby-looking angel of love that flies around, shooting unsuspecting individuals with arrows of love. We know him fondly as Cupid.

However, with so much folklore, theories and legends surrounding this day, one thing we can all agree is that every single one of us has, at one point or another, been hit by Cupid’s love arrow and succumbed to the Valentine’s Day shenanigans.

What’s changed then?

For many people all over the world, this year we face an unprecedented Valentine’s. Many of our brethren are still facing lockdowns, curfews and restricted movement thanks to a global pandemic that just won’t let us be.

That right there is what has changed. The ripple effect then means lovers can’t really do the same old traditions they used to look forward to. Creativity reigns supreme on this now. Couples are looking at various ways to express their love for each other and it is anyone’s guess really just how wildly creative our social media feeds will look like on the 15th of February. After all, if it is not posted, did it really happen?

Dar bit by the love bug

Despite how the rest of the world is choosing to tackle their Valentine’s Day, Dar es Salaam faces a different ball game. The question being “what do I do that hasn’t been done yet?

Life & Style thought to answer this question and spoke to Dr Chris Mauki to hear what his take was on this.

His story

Chris is a loving husband to gospel queen, Miriam Mauki and a father of two young girls. He was taken off the market in 2006 and together with his wife, regularly host lovers dinners, lover’s sleep overs and couple’s retreats.

He is an expert psychologist, counsellor and lecturer at the University of Dar es Salaam.

He is a firm believer of love and the work it takes to keep that spark alive. Unlike most who choose to celebrate Valentine’s Day alone, Chris says he and Miriam rarely do so. They invite other couples to spend the weekend with them at different destinations.

“Miriam and I tell each other daily how much we love each other, not just on Valentine’s Day. We work out together, run together and travel together” he says. “My clients are very much aware of this so they always book two tickets for us” he adds.

Indoors or outdoors this time?

With regards to the many social changes that are happening in our society, Chris asserts that this choice remain with each individual. Dar es Salaam is a city with plenty of attractive places which cater to a variety of taste so be it a social distancing outing that one needs or an indoor one, the list of activities is never ending.

“Do something fun together; you could cook together, read books, make it a dance date at home, order a meal you enjoy together and make plenty of love” he says. “Try to do something that your loved one sees as their love language”.

The year 2020 saw a change in how everything is done from quarantine anniversaries to drive-by baby showers and birthday parties. We were constantly treated to visuals of how a certain famous someone turned their back yard into a dinner date destination and how another rented the entire cinema to celebrate his wife’s birthday and hid a gift for her under every seat.

It seemed like everyone was out to out-do the next person and be the next social sensation. It is safe therefore to say that this era is wildly spoilt for choice.

With everything at our fingertips, one can order a meal, send a gift, send flowers, book their valentine’s day event, have their house transformed into a lover’s shack and pretty much anything they so desire.

Here and ready take advantage of that need and give every willing person the Valentine’s of their dreams are the many local businesses that cater to gifting and meals.

Life & Style suggests

Consider ordering a nice meal for delivery from a hotel of your choice but it is of common agreement that a homemade, candlelit dinner stays a winner- only if you feel bold enough to venture into the kitchen.

Find you a baby sitter or send the kids off to their granny and surprise your loved one with a romantic meal made by your hand- yes gentlemen, this one is specifically for you. Buy those scented candles-can’t miss them in stores like Mr Price- and light up your house. Try not to burn it down; we all know it won’t be the thought that counts when that happens.

Alternatively, you could turn your living room into a ballroom or romantic cinema and let Netflix be your entertainer for the night. Your bedroom could be transformed into a spa and your backyard into a picnic spot. The beauty of Dar is everything and everyone is pretty much flexible.

For what it’s worth, we do acknowledge that challenges are still going to be there. One might have nowhere to leave the kids or the restaurant orders may be too backed up because someone forgot to confirm the order, or the flower and chocolate shop bae loves is out of stock because bae did not think it was important to order early or maybe, just maybe, someone wakes up with a pulled muscle because acrobatics were just too intense.

Whatever it may be- indoor valentine or not-, do enjoy the season but be careful while at it. Take care of your health when going into crowds of people and stay safe.