One afternoon, I opened the app… confident, hopeful, and ready to move like a soft-life citizen.
Every category said busy.
I refreshed.
Busy. Closed the app.
Opened it again. Busy.Switched to another app. Busy there too.
At some point, the only available option was a boda boda, and it was raining like the sky had personal issues.
I stared at my phone. The phone stared back.
We both knew that was not going to happen. So I waited.
Ten minutes. Thirty minutes. One hour. At some point I stopped checking time and started checking my life choices.
And somewhere between refreshing apps and watching random cars pass me, cars that clearly had no intention of being mine it hit me… Ride-hailing is no longer predictable.
It is vibes. Pure vibes.
Because even when you finally get a ride… that’s just the beginning of the drama.
A driver accepts. Immediately, your phone rings:
“Unaenlekea wapi?”
You answer politely. You even add a landmark for good measure. Silence. Then, cancelled.
No explanation. No apology. Just rejection. Like you asked for too much in life.
You request again.
Another driver accepts. You hold your breath this time, like you’re waiting for exam results.
And just when you start believing, boom. Cancelled again.
At this point, it’s not transport. It’s character development.
And let’s say, by some miracle, the ride actually holds.
You now enter Phase Two: Locate Your Driver.
Because why is the car not moving? Why is the map frozen? Why is he somehow both “2 minutes away” and spiritually in another district?
Then the call comes, “Uko wapi hasa?”
Sir. The pin is right there. Glowing. Existing. Doing its job.
But no… now I must explain my location like I’m guiding someone through a treasure hunt.
“Unajua ile duka ya kona? Sasa pita kidogo… hapana, sio hapo…”
Congratulations, you are now the GPS.
Technology said, “I rest.”
Then comes the waiting game inside the waiting game.
The driver has accepted… but is not moving.
You stare at the map. The map stares back.
You want to cancel, but you remember there might be a cancellation fee.
So now you are stuck… in a relationship you didn’t even ask for.
Time is passing. Your mood is changing. Your patience is evaporating.
Convenience is watching.
And let’s talk about money, because ah, yes, the plot twist.
The price you saw? That was just a suggestion.
Rain falls… price goes up.
Traffic builds… price goes up.
You blink… The price goes up.
And sometimes the driver calls with that familiar line,
“Dada, ongeza kidogo tu.”
At this point, are we negotiating transport… or buying tomatoes at the market?
You agree because you’re tired. Or you refuse and start the whole process again.
Either way, you lose something… time, money, or peace of mind. Now the car finally arrives.
You check the number plate. It’s… almost correct. The car model? Close enough. The condition? Let’s just say the car has lived.
