Ministry says literacy rate among ADULTS aged ‘15’ and above has gone up. No way!
FEELING station. Yeah, a place you visit and get boosted with feelings—emotional feelings, maybe, eh? There’s nothing like that, of course, according to our WhatsApp source that availed us with this beauty! The signwriter, we can assert, was assigned to paint FILLING Station—a utility you visit to FILL your vehicle with fuel. Trust signwriters! PHOTO | COURTESY
In this edition, we wander to the land of Riggy G and Son of Ruto, where we get hold of two recent editions of the title that commands a sizeable readership in Bongo.
Here we go… In the Saturday, January 27 edition, there’s a Page 2 story entitled, ‘Maribe, Irungu verdict postponed third time.’
It’s a story on the case of suspected killers of businesswoman, Monicah Kimani, who was murdered the very day she arrived in Kenya through Kenyatta International Airport:
“She was PICKED by a taxi driver who DROPPED her at Lamuria Garden Apartment and drove away. On the way, the taxi driver recalled, Monica spoke to a boda doda rider who later PICKED a parcel and then drove off.” Now the verb “pick” means “chose”. Yes, like it happens during elections whereby a party picks (or nominates/selects) a candidate to stand in subsequent polls. During the nomination process, an incumbent may be dropped (removed) in favour of a fresh aspirant. When a taxi arrives at the airport for the purpose of taking you home, that’s picking you UP (not picking you). Upon reaching your destination, he drops you OFF (not drops you).
On Page 10 of the same tabloid, there’s a story entitled ‘Changamwe NHC tenants evicted to “pave way” for affordable houses,’ in which the scribbler writes in his intro:
“Hundreds of residents of Mombasa’s Changamwe estate were left homeless after the National Housing Corporation began demolishing 84 houses to PAVE WAY for the construction of 1,000 affordable houses.” Hello, we don’t pave way; we pave THE way, meaning to create circumstances to enable something to happen or be done. Now if you wish to say the same thing while avoiding definite article ‘the’ say, GIVE ROOM.
The Saturday, 13 January edition of the tabloid we cite above had a Page 3 a story entitled, ‘Man in court over Sh466,965 hotel bill.’
It’s a report on one Mr Leaven Lubanga, who wished to end 2023 and begin 2024 in a luxurious way.
“Mr Lubanga checked into Pan Pacific Service Suites Hotel on December 30, 2023. He stayed at the hotel dining and WINNING until January 11, 2024…”
Dining and winning? Oh, no! It’s dining (from the noun “dine”) and WINING (from the noun “wine”). Winning is from the noun win—shinda. Back to Bongo, where we pick up a copy of the huge and colourful broadsheet of Saturday, January 3, which carries a story on Page 7 entitled, ‘Literacy up by 6.3 in 10 years.’
In this one, the scribbler writes intro paragraph: “The ministry of Education, Science and Technology has said that the rate of literacy among ADULTS aged 15 YEARS and above has increased by 6.3 per cent in the past 10 years.” Hang on! Adults aged 15? No way! In case you’re the amorous type, go ahead and make a “successful” move with an adult aged 15 and see what happens to you!
Once caught, prosecuted and convicted, you’ll earn a jail term ranging between 30 years and life! Why, in Bongo, the Constitution states that a person is a child until he/she becomes 18, i.e. attains the age of consent.
And then, on Friday, February 8, the tabloid closely associated with columnist had this story on Page 2: ‘Tanzania suffers huge blow in Indiana’s compensation case.’
In Para 3, the scribbler writes: “Contacted yesterday to shed light on the country’s next MOVE of action, the Attorney General of the United Republic of Tanzania, Dr Eliezer Feleshi said…”
Let me be fussy and say that defining Dr Feleshi as the AG “…of the United Republic of Tanzania” in a local newspaper is being tautological—introducing unnecessary detail.
Next move of action? Well, maybe, but how about this more familiar expression “…next COURSE of action? Or just say: “…next move.”
