RC warns that ‘conmen WISH to DECEIVE pensioners THEIR cash’

No lecturing today, for I need ample room for sharing linguistic gems that I failed to deliver last Friday due to circumstances which were beyond me. Here we go…

Page 5 of the Saturday, May 31 edition of Bongo’s huge and colourful broadsheet carried a story entitled ‘Shinyanga RC calls for timely completion of classroom construction…’, in which the scribbler, purporting to quote the regional chief, wrote in Para 6:

“Pupils are congested in all the CLASSES; we need to complete the construction work to enable them to learn in comfortable environment. As the REGION AUTHORITY, we are not happy…”

Hang on! The space within a building where pupils learn is not a class; it is a CLASSROOM. We should, however, note that, the period during which a teacher imparts knowledge to learners can rightfully be referred to as a class.

And then, we should talk of REGIONAL AUTHORITIES (not region authority).

Our scribbling colleague writes further in Para 8: “Ulewe Ward Councillor Kulwa Mabula said the congestion at the schools is largely contributed WITH the increased population…”

Contributed with? No, sir! We say: contributed BY…

And then, in Para 9, he writes: “Head teacher (sic!) at Bugomba A Primary School, Richard Mgana…said teachers can hardly follow up on each of the students because even their SEATING does not facilitate EASILY movement of the instructors within the CLASS.”

Our colleague’s sentence depicts both carelessness (easily movement) and probable ignorance (seating; class). Let me offer a rewrite:

“THE Headteacher at Bugomba A Primary School, Richard Mgana…said teachers can hardly follow up on each of the students because even their SITTING (not seating) ARRANGEMENT does not facilitate EASY (not easily) movement of the instructors within the CLASSROOM (not class).”

On Page 7 of the same edition, there is another story: ‘RC urges pensioners: Be wary of tricksters’, in which the scribbler writes in his intro,

“Mwanza Regional Commissioner Robert Gabriel yesterday warned pensioners against conmen who WISH to DECEIVE them THEIR pension.” The verb “wish” is grammatically well used but it is not contextually agreeable. It is like saying someone “WISHES to steal from me”, instead of, for instance, “INTENDS to steal from me.”

And saying “deceive them their money” defies criticism since it sounds absolutely ridiculous, so I will simply provide a rewrite:

“Mwanza Regional Commissioner Robert Gabriel yesterday warned pensioners against conmen who MIGHT BE HARBOURING INTENSIONS TO EMBEZZLE THEIR pensions.”

And now, a look at the huge tabloid from Nairobi which enjoys a sizeable readership in Bongo. In its Saturday, July 17 edition, there is a story entitled, ‘UDA beats ruling party in Kiambaa by-election’, whose intro reads in part:

“United Democratic Alliance (UDA) which is linked to Deputy President William Ruto, yesterday won the Kiambaa by-election, after its candidate John Kamau Wanjiku floored Jubilee Party’s Kariri Njama.”

In Para 2, the scribbler writes: “MR Wanjiku won with 510 votes after he garnered 21,773 votes while Mr Njama got 21,263 votes.”

I am anxious over the matter of giving Wanjiku the prefix “Mr”, because this is a female name—which is to say, the politician, most likely a child of a single parent, affectionately adopted his mother’s first name as his surname, a common practice amongst the Agikuyu who are traditionally a matrimonial community.

My assertion is that while it would be okay to refer to the man as referred to as Wa Wanjiku (Son of Wanjiku), it is audacious to call him Mr Wanjiku, or even, plainly, Wanjiku! Why not use his middle name?

There was this kind of what I considered misguided sense of etiquette back in 2008 when long-distance runner, 24-year-old Samuel Kamau Wanjiru (Wanjiru being his mother’s name), from Central Kenya clinched the Beijing Olympics record time of 2.06.32. He became the first Kenyan to win the Olympic gold in the marathon. The international press, ignorantly (and hence, forgivably) referred to him as Mr Wanjiru. A section of the Kenyan press (strangely) followed suit!