Just like that, your perfectly normal feelings are magically turned into your fault. Feeling hurt becomes a crime punishable by…what exactly? Confusion? Eye rolls? Emotional invisibility?
Excuse me, why is saying sorry so hard for men?
So, last week my bestie Amina called me, crying…again. Apparently, her boyfriend did the classic thing: he hurt her feelings, she told him, and instead of saying “sorry”, he hit her with the legendary deflection move.
“You’re too sensitive,” he said. Excuse me? Last I checked, feelings weren’t a crime. And when she tried to explain why she was hurt, he somehow turned it around on her.
Suddenly, she was the problem. I mean…how does that even work? Why, dear men? Why?
And it’s not just Amina. I’ve seen it happen too many times.
She: “I feel hurt when you ignore my texts.”
Him: “Well, if you didn’t text so much, I wouldn’t ignore you.”
She: …what??
Bro???????????
You try to talk about your emotions, hoping for a little acknowledgement, maybe a tiny bit of understanding, perhaps even a simple apology.
Instead, you get defence. A casual shrug, a “calm down” tossed over WhatsApp. Or the classic, “If you didn’t feel that way, this wouldn’t even be a problem.”
Just like that, your perfectly normal feelings are magically turned into your fault. Feeling hurt becomes a crime punishable by…what exactly? Confusion? Eye rolls? Emotional invisibility?
Watching Amina go through this is exhausting but also kind of hilarious if you squint hard enough. This is not an isolated incident.
I see it with friends, in my family, and all over social media. Women share that they are upset or frustrated, and suddenly men become defensive athletes, dodging accountability like it’s an Olympic sport.
Sorry, it disappears. Listening disappears. Empathy disappears. And I cannot help but wonder, are men allergic to the word sorry? Does it shrink their man card? Does it somehow ruin their hair, beard, or entire existence?
This pattern does more than make one conversation awkward. Over time, it eats away at trust and intimacy. Amina begins questioning herself.
Maybe she really is too sensitive. Maybe she is imagining things. She hesitates to speak up next time. She laughs off small annoyances instead of sharing them. Emotional honesty starts feeling dangerous.
The relationship becomes a minefield, and suddenly every conversation feels like walking through a jungle of landmines.
Ladies, if this sounds familiar, you are not alone. Your feelings are valid. Your voice matters. If your partner consistently flips the script and makes you question your emotions, that is not love. That is emotional dodgeball, and you are the only one playing.
Men, if you are reading this, yes, I am talking to you: saying sorry does not shrink your ego. Listening does not make you weak. A simple “I get it” or “I am sorry I hurt you” goes farther than you think. It builds trust, shows respect, and proves you can handle a little honesty without collapsing.
So why is it so hard for some men to admit when they are wrong, take responsibility, and recognise someone else’s feelings? Why does listening feel like losing when it is really caring?
Until we figure that out, besties like Amina will keep calling me, crying and wondering why their feelings are always the last thing that matters. Relationships are not about defending your ego. They are about connection, understanding, and sometimes just saying sorry even when it is hard.
ecause honestly, sometimes the hardest words in a relationship are the simplest: “I’m sorry.”
