The flyers are usually beautiful. The guest list looks impressive. There are promises of meeting industry leaders, making valuable connections and opening new doors for your career.
So you buy the ticket, put on your best outfit and show up.
You listen to a few speakers. You meet some people. Maybe you exchange numbers with someone you’d like to keep in touch with. You take a few photos, post one on LinkedIn and go home.
Then, somewhere between the event ending and getting back to your normal routine, you start wondering what you actually got from the experience.
That was the question we put to our community, and the responses showed that people have very different ideas about what these events are really worth.
What the Community Had to Say
1. Being in the Room Still Requires Effort
One of the strongest points in the comments was that networking takes an actual skill.
As one reader put it:
“Networking is a skill, it’s not enough to be in the room! Getting the picture or the number is not networking.”
Another reader made a similar point, saying you can find yourself in a room full of potential connections and still leave without making a meaningful connection.
That part of networking can be easy to overlook.
A room can be full of important people and you can still spend the entire evening sitting with the people you came with, listening to speakers and waiting for someone else to start a conversation.
You exchange numbers. You follow each other on LinkedIn. Then everyone goes home.
The relationship needs somewhere to go after that.
2. When Networking Starts Looking Like Productivity
There was also criticism of the way networking events can become part of personal branding.
One reader described them simply as:
“Expensive photo ops. The best thing you can do for exposure is POST ON YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA.”
Another joked about the familiar LinkedIn captions that appear after these events, describing them as a way to “seemingly” look productive.
And honestly, it is easy to understand why.
There is something satisfying about being able to say you attended a leadership summit or sat in a room with senior executives. You have a photo. You have something to post. You can tell people you are putting yourself out there.
That feeling can be motivating.
The question becomes whether the event is actually contributing to the career goal that made you buy the ticket in the first place.
3. Sometimes the Investment Makes Sense
Some readers saw paid networking as a legitimate investment in personal branding and professional visibility.
One reader suggested looking at it as a way of putting yourself out there and building your professional image. The value may show up through visibility, potential leads or relationships that develop much later.
That is worth considering.
Professional relationships rarely come with an immediate reward. You might meet someone at an event today and only hear from them six months later. A short conversation can eventually lead to a job, collaboration, introduction or client.
There is also something valuable about being around people who are doing things you want to do.
For young professionals who are still figuring out where they fit, being in those rooms can help make certain career paths feel more real and achievable.
Why Does It Feel So Good to “Do Something” for Your Career?
There is a psychological reason these events can feel productive even when the outcome is still unclear.
One concept that comes into play is action bias, which refers to our tendency to take action when we are faced with uncertainty.
When you are worried about your career, sitting at home wondering whether an opportunity will come along can feel uncomfortable.
Buying a ticket feels like movement.
You registered. You showed up. You met people. You posted the photos.
For a few hours, you feel like you are actively doing something about your future.
That feeling can be useful. It can also make it difficult to judge whether your time and money are actually producing the results you want.
Then there is social proof.
When you see other young professionals attending these events, posting their photos and talking about the people they met, it can create the feeling that this is what ambitious people are supposed to be doing.
You start wondering:
Maybe I’m missing out.
Maybe everyone else is making connections that I’m not making.
Maybe this is where the opportunities are.
That can make it very easy to keep buying tickets because every event feels like another opportunity to get closer to the career you want.
So, How Do You Get More Out of These Events?
If you are spending your money on a networking event, it helps to have some idea of what you want from it.
Go with a purpose. Look at the speakers and attendees beforehand. Identify a few people you would genuinely like to meet instead of trying to meet everyone in the room.
Have actual conversations. Ask people about what they do, what they are working on and how they got there. Be curious. Listen. A good conversation is often more memorable than a rehearsed introduction.
Give the relationship time. A first conversation does not need to end with a request for a job, a favour or an introduction. Sometimes the first step is simply getting to know someone.
Follow up. If you had a good conversation with someone, send them a message afterwards. Mention something you actually discussed. A phone number sitting in your contacts does very little on its own.
Think about the cost. If a networking event costs a significant portion of your monthly budget, ask yourself what you are realistically hoping to gain from it. There are plenty of ways to meet people professionally, including industry associations, community events, volunteering, professional groups and even simply reaching out to people whose work interests you.
And remember that networking is not limited to people on the stage.
Sometimes the most useful conversation at an event happens with the person sitting beside you. They might work in your field, know someone you need to meet or be building something you would genuinely like to be part of.
A ticket gets you into the room.
From then onwards, its up to you.
The relationships you build there are what determine what happens afterwards.
Disclaimer: This column is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute clinical advice. While exploring these psychological concepts can provide helpful insight, it is not a replacement for professional therapy. If you are struggling with deep family conflict, burnout, or mental health challenges and want to dive deeper, please consider reaching out to a licensed therapist or mental health professional for personalized guidance.
Haika Gerson is a mental health advocate with a background in psychology and a focus on modern relational wellness.
