Why every generation treats sensitivity differently

One of the things that impress me in the developed world is how retired professionals and politicians carry on making an impact educationally. In most developing countries, when a professional stops, you hardly hear them until news of their funeral. Their wisdom, experience and skill is hardly used in an intellectual manner.

Lately, however, some of high-profile personalities have been publishing autobiographical books in Tanzania. A promising sign. Ex-President Mzee Rukhsa, ex-minister Edwin Mtei and founder of Precision Air and philanthropist Michael Shirima are a few examples.

Promising sign.

I was reading a column by former 1970s Liverpool player Graeme Souness. The Scotsman was as blunt during his playing career as he is a football critic and pundit today. Midfield player Souness captained the famous successful Liverpool team of the early 1980s that won five league titles, three European cups and four league cups (nowadays called Carabao Cup).

Last Saturday, Souness specifically wrote about Arsenal coach Mikel Arteta who has rebuilt a young team of players who are currently looking ready to win the England Premier League for the first time since the “invincibles” of 2003-2004. Arsenal did not lose a single match during that season.

Souness, 69, wrote that in his playing days, coaches would want footballers to do better. Even if they won matches, they were still not praised too much.

“You won 3-0 and it should have been 4-0. That was the attitude.”

He compared that to Arsenal losing to Everton few weeks ago. Coach Arteta is quoted to have said, “I love my players even more.”

Despite the defeat, he showed tenderness.

Souness said, “This is how the world has changed....you see...managers cuddling players.”

What does that mean?

We are in an era of softly, softly and nicely, nicely, not soft and hard punches. Youngsters are sensitive and vulnerable and overwhelmed and fragile. Political correctness rules.

Every older generation sees the new generation as softies. I remember in the 1970s, the older generation used to call us the youth “nyoronyoros” meaning “weaklings”, if you will. In the National Service, military commanders would taunt and rebuke us for being “weak”.

“Laini laini”, “watoto wazuri” and, of course, “nyoronyoro”, which made you feel as useless as how you sneered behind their backs.

On the street, our generation of males loved carrying personal belongings in bags that hang on shoulders. Walking with bags on your back – which is normal today for us males – was teased and only left to tourists (“wasafiri”) with heavy rucksacks, trekking to game parks, mountains and so on. Again and again the old guard would make it clear it was a “sissy” thing – feminine. A man carrying “a handbag” like a woman? And what was in these bags? Books, music albums and newspapers.

In 2023, all the kizazi kipya need is a phone with all data intact. Contact numbers, videos, music, bank accounts, photos, et cetera, et cetera. A male swinging a bag on your shoulder is not considered as effeminate as it was in 1973 when I was 18 in Form Five at Mzumbe Secondary.

Fifty years’ difference.

Some of these wazee and kakas had carried rifles and mortars in the Second World War and it was still fresh. They looked tough and manly.

I recall a chap who had fought the Japanese in Burma during 1939-45, making fun of our long Afros. Men with long hair were frowned upon and considered “girlie” across the planet.

Generations change and look at each other, critically even contemptuously.

Today, so wrote ex-Liverpool captain and Scottish Rangers coach Souness “managers cuddle players” - REPEAT.

The cuddle and hugging thing.

Managers openly showing affection. Not throwing shoes at players. In 2003 when Man United lost the FA cup final to Arsenal, then manager, Alex Ferguson furiously flung a shoe at then captain David Beckham. It is claimed Beckham required stitches on his face. No hugging or saying I LOVE YOU MORE like Mikel Arteta just declared after the Everton loss.

Hugs.

Some world politicians do it as well instead of formal stiff handshakes. Former US President Obama had a reputation for hugging and being “touchy-feely”.

No wonder, Michelle, his wife, is reported to have broken protocol by embracing the Queen during a visit to the Buckingham Palace in 2009. The Queen reportedly reciprocated. It is a famous photograph.

Mrs Obama was the pioneer black woman in the White House. In her book, Becoming, the ex-First Lady said she was not aware (then) that it was against protocol. Touching the Queen was considered taboo. Just handshakes, curtsy, bowing and keeping distance.

Someone was joking that when 2023 teenagers are in their 50s, it will be normal to not just cuddle a sad fellow, but transport them across the road in your arms, like how males romantically lift ladies.

Bad joke? You never know.