In a post-pandemic world that praises emotional intelligence and work-life balance, men are still being rewarded for stoicism, overcommitment, and silence. Many of us say we want emotionally aware male leaders, yet we reward them for being stoic and silent.
In the aftermath of the pandemic, we’ve seen a welcome surge in conversations about emotional intelligence, vulnerability, and work-life balance. While our language has evolved, the expectations placed on men, especially in the workplace, haven't.
In a post-pandemic world that praises emotional intelligence and work-life balance, men are still being rewarded for stoicism, overcommitment, and silence. Many of us say we want emotionally aware male leaders, yet we reward them for being stoic and silent.
Here’s the paradox: male burnout isn’t loud; it’s often competent and composed (on the outside at least). Here’s the data to back it up: A 2024 WHO study proved that men are 3 times more likely to die by suicide globally, with burnout cited as a rising contributor among professionals aged 30–55. And according to a Harvard Business Review survey, 65 per cent of male executives feel they cannot talk about emotional stress at work without seeming “weak” or “less leader-like”. In Sub-Saharan Africa, a 2023 report by the African Mental Health Institute revealed that men are 40 per cent less likely to seek therapy, even when their companies provide it for free.
These aren’t isolated stats; they’re warning signs. And they’re costing us more than productivity; they’re costing us people. Let's explore how “strength” and “leadership” can look different. The issue isn’t that men lack emotional depth. It’s that they’re socialised to hide it, especially in boardrooms, meetings, and our culture.
This might be a difficult pill (or article in this case) to swallow, but what if we stop measuring masculinity by how much pain men can absorb in silence and embrace leadership as self-awareness, boundary-setting, and sustainable ambition?
Performance evaluations should include more than output metrics and task completion. They should also measure how leaders contribute to psychological safety, how they manage emotional pressure, how they coach others through conflict, and how they cultivate trust in tense or uncertain moments. These behaviours are not supplementary to performance; they are essential to effective leadership.
When senior male leaders openly acknowledge that they took time to rest, reset, or seek support, it creates a powerful ripple effect across the organisation. It gives others permission to prioritise their own well-being without fear of judgement. Modelling these behaviours at the top reinforces the message that mental health is not a private inconvenience but a collective priority.
A healthy work culture cannot be built on the idea that perseverance means ignoring signals of fatigue. Resilience is not a straight line of continuous effort; it is a dynamic cycle of action, rest, and reflection. Encouraging breaks, recognising emotional limits, and treating recovery as a legitimate part of performance strategy can help teams operate more sustainably.
Just as leaders are held accountable for business goals, they should also be supported in maintaining their well-being. Assigning peer check-ins that go beyond project milestones to include questions like “What are you doing to stay grounded this week?” helps integrate care into leadership practice. This kind of accountability reinforces the idea that showing up whole is just as important as showing up on time.
Emotional distress in the workplace is not always visible through tears or outbursts. It often shows up as irritability, detachment, avoidance, or hyper-control. Leaders, especially men, who are often socialised to suppress rather than express, need the tools to recognise these signs early, both in themselves and in their teams. Awareness is not only preventive; it is transformative for building more emotionally intelligent and human-centred organisations.
This isn’t about softening men, but rather revolutionising the workplaces they lead. When men suppress, teams suffer, but when men lead with emotional intelligence, organisations transform.
To every man reading this: You matter beyond your performance. You are more than what you can power through, and your leadership is at its most powerful, not when you're silent, but when you're whole.
