A wife is a helper and not a servant

There is this common saying by renown US marriage counselor F. Burton Howard, “If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by.” He always stresses on mutual respect in every relationship irrespective of differences that may arise.

Even the Holy Book emphasizes that God gave man a helper to work with him to accomplish the divine goal that he entrusted him with. What this means is that the duty of a wife is to be a counterpart of her husband, she is an indispensable part of God’s divine plan. I did not intend to preach here but at least this is what Genesis 2:18 states about marriage. Many experts on marriage attest that many causes of miseries in the institution and failure is because men no longer go out to look for helpers and some people have faulty view about the union. Some men and women use marriage these days to enrich themselves so instead of becoming partners they use marriage to enrich themselves. So how does a helper look like and what does she do? Let’s cooperate with God’s agenda for marriage instead of using it as a launching pad for materialism. Remember there is no monetary competition in a genuine relationship.

So the question is, “What does a helper look like? A helper is someone who understands and helps mould and shape her partner into the person that God wants him to be. And for the men, you need to fulfill your God given duties to your wives and families as a provider and protector. At the end of the day, women need to be appreciated for their roles in the families. In fact, there are those women who are the breadwinners of their families.

So let it be known that a wife is not a servant in marriage, men should not turn out to be slave owners but partners in the union. A man who has such rigid views of gender roles is not likely to be a loving and supportive spouse and it is hard to build a happy and working marriage with someone like that.

And for men out there, who have gotten themselves these priceless women who are their authentic partners, love them with all your heart and take care of them as well.