Crazy marriage principles like crazy English!

Richard Lederer, an American linguist, author, speaker, and teacher, explains that the English language is indeed very strange!

Why do we say the alarm is going off when it's going on? How can a building burn up and burn down at the same time? Why is a boxing ring square?

It's a crazy language, you say? In the crazy English language, there's no butter in buttermilk, no egg in an eggplant, and no ham in a hamburger.

To add to this insanity, blackboards can be green, hot dogs can be cold, darkrooms can be lit, nightmares can take place in broad daylight ("That test was a real nightmare"), tablecloths can be made of paper, and silverware (especially in fast-food eateries) they can be made of plastic.

A writer is someone who writes, and a stinger is something that stings. But fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, hammers don't ham, and humdingers don't humding.

If you wrote a letter, why don't we also say that you bote your tongue? If the teacher taught, why isn't it also true that the preacher praught?

Why don't you grieve a preption and believe a beleption? Yes, English is a crazy language. Likewise, relationship principles may not make sense but they make marriage work. Below are some of these principles.

Women crave verbalised love: An average woman in a relationship is dying to hear love words from her husband. But an average man would say, "Wait a moment, I married you because I love you, so why should I keep repeating the same thing daily?" Yes, the idea of verbalising love all the time doesn't make sense to most men. Men are generally very rational beings compared to mostly emotional women.

The emotional orientation of women demands connection, and she connects well with a man who verbally connects to her emotions, especially by verbalising love.

As a rule of thumb, a man should tell his wife that he loves her at least four times a day. This may sound ridiculous, but that's how relationships work. Like English, it's crazy!

Women want to be wooed: Applying bait to a fish that's safe in the basket doesn't make any sense to most men. Baits are for uncaught fish.

According to common sense, we don't attempt to catch a fish in the basket. This is crazy! But women like being wooed and being pursued politely. Most of us men fail here.

We're not taught that we'll still pursue our wives beyond courtship. "Why should I pursue a woman I've already won? We think. But the emotional orientation of our wives makes them humans who're dying for affection.

Lastly, some marriage principles may look crazy or even strange, but that's how relationships work: pursuing someone daily, kissing daily, and telling them "I love you." Though it's beyond our comprehension, these practices build a strong bond.

Amani Kyala is a counsellor and a teacher, 0626 512 144