Saying legendary woman dies aged 93 'years' is to entertain verbosity

The goofs we dwell on today are so commonplace that we’ve decided it won’t be fair to associate them with any particular scribbler. So, we’ll avoid our tradition of mentioning the “culpable” publication and other details that expose our erring colleague (albeit subtly) and his gatekeepers. Here we go…

In a July 25 story, a scribbler, reporting from Arusha, writes about the shortage of paediatricians in Bongo. Therein, purporting to quote what a health ministry boss said, he writes: “There are some regions and districts with MORE THAN THEIR FAIR SHARE OF DOCTORS while other parts have FEWER such (sic!) health workers.”

The reader is bound to ask: FEWER than what? Yes, because the qualifier ‘fewer’ is a comparative adjective. It would’ve made sense if the reader were told something like: “There are some regions and districts with 40 paediatricians while some regions have as few as five.”     OR: ”…There are some regions and districts with as many as 40 paediatricians while in some other parts of the country the number of these specialists is MUCH LOWER.”

Then, on July 26, a scribbler reporting from Dodoma writes the intro of his front page story as follows: “The ruling Chama Cha Mapinduzi will today HOLD ITS FIRST-EVER EXTRA ORDINARY CONGRESS online.” We’ve a quintessential case of ambiguity here, more so for a reader who has just landed from Planet Mars. Why, he’ll have to be forgiven if he concluded that, since its establishment, CCM would be holding an Extra-ordinary Congress—for the first time! And the inaugural congress would take place online.

Upon pausing for a while, the man from Mars would remember he hasn’t looked at the headline and when he does, he would notices it reads, ‘CCM holds first virtual congress.’  That’s okay, he’d say in his mind and, like us, he’d redo our colleague’s intro so that it reads: “For the FIRST-TIME ever, the ruling Chama Cha Mapinduzi will today HOLD ITS EXTRA-ORDINARY CONGRESS online.”

In the same publication, there’s a photo whose caption reads: “Government officials, ambassadors and invited guests listen ATTENTIVELY to the guest of honour’s speech during the National Heroes Day…”

Let’s caution our scribbling colleagues again: avoid indulging in superfluities when describing other people’s actions that you cannot scientifically verify. In the said photo, there’s actually one person whose head is bent down, and is holding something that looks like a smartphone. Now how can you say for sure he’s listening “attentively”? Maybe the use of the safe word, FOLLOW… would be more apt?  Or, simply say “listens...” No adverb!

Another story in which we pick a couple of gems is a tribute to a legendary woman who passed mid last month. The intro is thus written: “The death of PMA on July 17, 2025 at the AGE of 93 YEARS removes from our midst another pioneering woman in the history of Kenya…”

Why qualify “age of 93”with “years” when it is obvious that no reader would assume the story is about someone aged 93 days or months?  Saying “at the age of 93” would be enough. OR, simply: “…at 93…” Actually, a stringent subeditor would even remove “year” and rewrite: “The death of PMA on Wednesday, AGED 93, removes…”

At the bottom of Column 1, our colleague writes further in regard to the departed celebrated educationist, social worker and politician: “She ended up WORKING in Nairobi, WORKING at Pumwani School in 1952, as a social worker and elected Maendeleo ya Wanawake Chairperson in 1953.”   

We’ll do a rewrite to kill the monotony caused by using the word “working” twice in a single sentence: “She ended up WORKING at Nairob’s Pumwani School in 1952….”

Ah, this treacherous language called English!