DEAR DIARY : When it is all about the man

What you need to know:

  • Have you ever stopped to wonder why men never bother to go to the so-called sex experts or marriage counselors? So what is it about women deciding to abandon their own quest for happiness and focus on their men? Are we out to please men?

You have perhaps heard about women who go to sex experts to help them improve their bedroom skills. They also visit women who profess to have all the knowledge about keeping a man. It is all about making men happy and nothing else.

Have you ever stopped to wonder why men never bother to go to the so-called sex experts or marriage counselors? So what is it about women deciding to abandon their own quest for happiness and focus on their men? Are we out to please men?

Let’s face it ladies, coping with men or men coping with us is not like that rainbow-coloured unicorns we see in the sky. We can debate on this but cannot get consensus at the end of the day.

We always want to be sexy and irresistible which is a good thing though I would say that we should do it for ourselves. Let’s not work out to please other people. You only try to please someone when you are living in fear.

It is not even about insecurities, it is simply fear of loss and desperation to be loved and accepted. Women go to these lengths just to keep their families together.

Imagine this kind of woman; the one who perhaps plans to go to the church or salon, but the moment her boyfriend or spouse calls, she cancels everything just to be with him because she fears if she doesn’t she might lose him.

A woman who is so scared to tell a man that I will be late by 30 minutes but just want to please all the time. At this point you give up your own happiness and start living in the shadow of someone else.

When the day comes for him to leave in the dating scenario, the world crumbles because you gave him everything and forgot about yourself.

The key thing is about being happy in any kind of relationship and earning the respect you deserve without losing yourself in the art of pleasing.

The end result of pleasing people is that you will end up feeling bad since they will take advantage of you.

So the moment is here ladies, stop focusing on what might upset your spouse or boyfriend and start working on what will make both of you happy in the long term. Ugh, let’s all grow up.

janet

Twitter:@janetOtieno