It’s Friday night at a popular Oysterbay lounge, and the music is doing what it does best, making strangers feel like old friends.
At the next table, a couple sip their cocktails, laughter spilling louder than the DJ’s bass. But when the conversation shifts to rent, careers, and long-term plans, her responses shrink to a shrug and a playful smile.
It hits me... we’ve normalised the idea that a woman’s biggest contribution to a relationship is looking gorgeous and keeping the bedroom spicy.
Cute? Sure. Sustainable? Not even close. Sexual chemistry is fantastic, but it’s not a life plan.
A relationship built only on physical spark is like a candle in Dar’s wind, bright for a moment, out in seconds.
Real partnership asks for more: emotional intelligence, financial awareness, and a willingness to build something that lasts longer than a Friday night.
We talk a lot about men needing to “bring more than money”, but the same challenge belongs to women.
Being beautiful and exciting is lovely; being able to co-create a future is priceless.
And here’s another hard truth: many women still grow up believing a man should always take care of them financially.
It sounds comforting, until life shows up uninvited. What if the relationship ends? What if he loses his job, falls ill, or, bluntly, passes away?
Dependence that once felt romantic can turn into a scramble for rent money or school fees. Relying solely on someone else’s wallet is like building a house on borrowed land, fine until the owner wants it back.
So what does “more” look like? It’s ambition that pushes you both to grow, dreams of businesses, travel, or property that you map out together.
It’s financial sense, whether that’s budgeting, investing, or starting a side hustle that turns passion into income.
It’s emotional steadiness: the ability to listen, to support, and to stand firm when life throws its inevitable storms.
It’s also the richness of community, friendships, family ties, and cultural traditions that weave a deeper fabric around the two of you.
None of these cancel out femininity; they deepen it. A woman who brings her mind, creativity, and resilience to the table isn’t competing with her partner, she’s building with him.
Love is a team sport, and partnership means both people show up with substance.
The man isn’t just an ATM. The woman isn’t just a muse. If all she offers is a pretty face and bedroom fireworks, boredom or burnout is inevitable.
So, ladies, here’s the gentle dare: bring the brains, the hustle, the empathy, and the plans.
Build your own financial backbone. Be ready to stand tall whether your partner is beside you or life takes an unexpected turn.
Because the table you share deserves more than a single course, and so do you.
