We wanted Peter to sit down with us and tell us what has been happening to him and why he has become such a supreme drinker.
The kind of guy who’d drink until his wallet went dry and there’s no mshikaji to tell him, “Get one from me before you leave, bro.”
When we asked what had befallen him, his eyes popped out of their sockets, and, trying his best to conceal his anger over our intrusiveness, he had claimed, “Mbona sina shida yoyote?” (There’s absolutely no problem with me!)
Ignoring his denial, which psychologists would tell you is a typical reaction of addicts, we offered him more beers and pressed him to open up, and he did.
“I stay for as long as possible in bars to escape from my mama watoto,” he says. “She isn’t a very good woman.”
“But our Shemeji, as we know her, is a sociable person,” reacted Mjumbe and continued, “In any case, she’s a teacher, and teachers, especially female teachers as we all know them, are nice, disciplined individuals.” I nodded in agreement.
Peter says we’re entitled to our opinion, adding, however, that we’re totally wrong about our shemeji.
He informs us that his wife, who’s actually someone’s ex, came along with three children from two different fathers, and he accommodated them all.
“She doesn’t appreciate my foolishness and bullies me instead!” laments Peter.
“Do you have any children with her?” I ask him, and he says no, adding that he’s blessed with two children who, however, left with his former wife, now living in Canada.
“Duh!” That’s all I’m able to say.
He claims his new wife, who he describes as a bully, was fired from her teaching job after she became overly involved with a religious outfit that preaches about miracle wealth, demons, djinns, zombies and witchcraft, all the time!
“She relates everything she doesn’t like with witchcraft… She even claims that I’ve been bewitched by my brothers to take alcohol and remain poor… She suggests I should join her in her worshipping outfit so that their “prophet” can exorcise the demons out of me.”
I say, “Pole sana, bro, but generally, how are you relating as wife and husband…you know what I mean…”
Peter’s answer, “Not well, quite often she wakes up in the middle of the night to chase away non-existent things she calls mapepo!”
What’s more, says Peter, his wife is consistently and falsely accusing him of being a philanderer and insists on checking his phone, charging that every female contact he has is his concubine!
That’s utter nonsense, of course, he says.
“The other day, she poured down the handwashing sink all the contents of a wine bottle I received from my friends as a birthday present, claiming the wine is the devil’s urine,” says Peter.
By the end of our conversation with Mwalimu Peter, I’m convinced our friend, and his wife, could do with serious, professional counselling from where, I can’t guess for now.
