The plight of the girl child

Invited to a ‘Kipaimara’ two weeks ago, I was forced to attend even if I did not turn up at my host’s door, because the event was being held across the fence, where there was no fence.

If you have no idea, ‘Kipaimara’ is the right of passage for those who have basic church doctrine and qualify by being baptised. It is a landmark point for believers and was similarly so, for Maria (not her real name), whose event I was a reluctant participant in.

A week to the event there was an unusual steady stream of people heading in and out of the neighbours compound (inevitably women) and, there was no doubt in my mind a shughuli” was in the offing.

Along the coastline, nothing excites like an occasion to celebrate otherwise fondly known as a shughuli.

No matter the financial status of parents, shughulis are the opportunity for parents, relatives and friends. The most unlikely of them come together and raise funds come hell or high water to ensure a shughuli succeeds.

It can be a ‘Kipaimara’ as it was in Maria’s case or the other called kumtoa binti, which means a rite of passage for a girl who has undergone puberty, a “Mwari” and become an adult. In the latter case, if a shughuli to give rite of passage to a ‘Mwari’ the event sometimes takes up to three days.

The thing is, these customs have been practised over many years and like many of these carry overs, have benefits and challenges. It always amazes that, back in the pre-free education up to form four days, parents would raise a million to give their daughters great occasions but be hard done to pay fees for the same girl to step into secondary school thus leaving the poor girl with no option but to make the next logical move-get married.

The suitors would most likely suit the demographic I saw at Maria’s ‘Kipaimara’ a three weekends ago. Mostly young, jobless and full of that fierce belief in long taught tradition that marrying them young was a blessing, men. Many ply their trade in the boda boda business. At Maria’s event the Master of Ceremonies, a woman of substance, extolled Maria’s beauty as she introduced her to the sizable crowd in the din created by speakers that made my attendance a foregone conclusion.

The MC found it appropriate to refer to Maria as our ‘Mwari’ (daughter ready to be taken away into marriage) in my not so-official translation. Guided by ‘Mchiriku’ and ‘Singeli’ (the former traditional coastal tunes and the latter a corruption of traditional rap tunes, the MC called group after group to be introduced to the crowd by our ‘Mwari’.

The groups included Maria’s aunties, sisters, mama, neighbours and other relatives but please note, while the uncles and brothers were also called and introduced, it was the female members presented that was the highlight of the occasion, not the cutting of the cake or even the prayer.

When the women were called up, the ‘Singeli’ went to a crescendo and then the tweaking began. Accompanied by ululations and whistles, the ‘Singeli’ singer and MC injected a word her and there that can only be used in the dead of the night to describe the activities of men and women in moments of ecstasy. Goodness me don’t Maria’s aunties, sisters and neighbours know how to “shake that behind.”

All these was happening between 2 and 6pm in the presence of children on their mothers backs, toddlers, teenagers and adults. Plus adult beverages were being served and the sisters in action so no qualm in tweaking right in front of the babu’s and their dads. The ‘Singeli’ artists were in a trance-obviously not borne out of milk and tea leaves but brew and cannabis.

Think about it -- why do all our restaurants and bars hire beautiful young girls and dress them in tights and minis. Are you aware of the unofficial for-sale business besides the drinks and food on offer? Are you still at a loss why we have a high rate of teenage pregnancy when our daughters in colleges find themselves in bed with their lecturers and then we express consternation and cry loudly about men baiting?

We have adequately been preparing Maria the girl child from childhood to serve as a sex object, to satisfy the desires of men. Let us live with the consequences and enjoy ‘Singeli’ and ‘Mchiriku’. We are busy giving ‘UIMARA’ albeit the wrong way to our children.